


Exit, Taako

by smilesbag



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Maybe OOC, Tags Are Hard, angus is a sweet kid, taako doesn't understand that he is loved, these boys care a lot about each other, this is after story and song, tries to revert back to old habits when scared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:33:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24329590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smilesbag/pseuds/smilesbag
Summary: "You're everybody's hero, but you were mine first."---Or, Taako doesn't understand how many people care for him, and Angus doesn't understand why he can't see it.
Relationships: Angus McDonald & Taako, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 95





	Exit, Taako

“Sir?” Angus walked into the room and watched silently as Taako stared down in front of him, pacing between his closet, a large, ornately carved dresser, and a small purse sitting open on his bed. It seemed to be magically enlarged because Taako was placing neatly folded piles of clothes into it. More unfolded clothes were laid out on the bed; skirts, pants. crop tops, cloaks — the signature Taako getup. Meticulously organized into piles next to the bag were mountains of trinkets Angus assumed Taako had collected during his employment with the Bureau of Balance and his adventures with his friends. These included a stone of farspeech, a duck shaped whetstone, a fake police badge, a small bronze music box, a sealed bottle of alcohol, and a Caleb Cleveland novel with a decorative blue cover. After staring down for a bit, Taako looked up at Angus, almost as if he had forgotten he was there, or had never noticed at all. His hair was tied in a bun atop his head, and it wobbled as he turned to give the boy a small, sad smile. 

“Hey Ango, sweet cheeks, how’s the magic going.” It felt forced and pained, and more than a little too normal, like he was trying too hard to sound like himself. Angus was good at reading people, being the world’s greatest detective, and Taako looked… tired. His normally intelligent eyes and big, gummy smile were gone and his face looked dull and guarded. 

“Um, very good sir, my mage hand is getting stronger.” Angus said with a stutter. 

“Excellent, excellent. Still not planning on becoming a better wizard than me, right kid? Because we shouldn’t strive for goals that we will never achieve.” He winked. Angus chuckled uncomfortably.

“Oh, no sir. Detective work is too demanding to give me enough time to be as good as you sir.” Angus looked at the wall, then steeled himself up and said, “W-what are you doing? Is anything wrong?” The boy rubbed his hands together nervously and shuffled further into the room. 

“Ango, let’s be real for a second okay? Can you do that for me?” Taako gave him a look.

“I normally am sir.”

“Sure, sure. Well, I’ll be honest, I thought you’d be able to figure this for yourself buddy but I guess Taako has to explain everything again!” Taako glanced at Angus and saw the nerves building up in his small frame, saw the tightness in his whole body. He sighed and gestured for Angus to come into the room. “Well- okay. Sure. Angus? You know that the whole thing with the relics and The Hunger is over, Lup and Barry have each other, Merle is trying to spend time with his kids, Lucretia has her own shit going on, trying to fix a broken world and all, and Magnus is off training dogs or whatever.” He took a steadying breath. “What’s really left for me at the Bureau?”

Taako looked down and picked up a small, invisible magic bubble, within it was the broken Umbra Staff, the ends looked charred and electric, as if his sister had exploded out of it only moments ago. Taako wrapped the bubble delicately in white fabric and carefully placed it in the bag. 

“B-but sir, is there something wrong with Mr. Kravitz? What about him?”

“No, no. Kravitz is great, that ass still won’t quit, you know?” Taako winked in Angus’ direction.

“Okay, I’m a little boy, but okay.” Taako placed a serious hand on Angus’ shoulder. 

“Oh my sweet sweet boy, one day you’ll learn.” Taako removed his hand, and let out a breath as his face fell. He picked at the hem of his shorts, then seemed to think better of it and folded his hands in his lap. He continued, “But, I don’t know, being Death and the fantasy equivalent of the Grim Reaper is a pretty demanding job, so we don’t have much time for date nights. If we’re lucky I get to make him breakfast or just sleep through the night next to him, we don’t have much opportunity for a more… permanent living situation, unless of course I die, which isn’t on the agenda either.” Taako went back to sorting all of his things, he pulled his comically large hat from next to the bed and put that in the bag as well. “I don’t know, nobody really… needs me, anymore. Now that I don’t have to save peoples goddamn lives, or ruin them in some cases, I don’t have a purpose anymore. I figure my best bet is to just go down to the ground and… wander, again. Like I did before the Bureau. Maybe cooking, maybe learning magic, maybe saving a person or two or looting some caravans. To be totally honest Ango I don’t know, but anything has to be better than staying still in a place where I’m not essential to anyone.”

When Taako stopped talking, Angus looked… sad, he looked disappointed. He moved his way over so that he was sitting on the bed and he picked up the Caleb Cleveland novel, turning it over in his hands. They both stayed silent for a bit as Angus thumbed through the pages, grazing his hands over the creased corners and the coffee stain on the bottom edges. 

“Did you read this?” Angus asked in a quiet voice without looking up. 

“Um, yeah Ango I did. I read it after that weird town? Um… Refuge, I think it was, you know, the one that kept killing us. It kinda helped me feel a little… normal, again? Getting buried alive and set on fire so many times doesn’t really do much good for the old bean, so uh, thanks.” He snapped himself out of his reverie before quickly adding, “A little juvenile for my tastes but I liked it anyways.” Taako ruffled Angus’ hair and smiled. Angus looked up at Taako after a moment, and his eyes were wet with tears that he was just barely managing to keep from spilling over. He gave a wide smile, and a few tear tracks made their way down his cheeks. 

“I’m very happy for you, sir. I hope you find happiness in your travels.” Tears were falling freely now, and Angus looked down, his smile gone and his lip quivering slightly. Taako’s mind devolved into a panic, had he done something wrong? He instinctively reached his arms out and brought his hands to Angus’ face, turning his chin with one hand and wiping his tears with the other. Angus flinched, surprised at the tenderness of the gesture, and he immediately brought himself into Taako’s chest, his small arms thrown around him in a tight hug. Taako jumped at the action, but quickly wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, his cloak falling softly around him. Angus sniffled into his chest for a while before Taako quietly asked;

“Angus, I need you to tell me what you’re thinking.” Angus pulled away from the taller man, fixing his glasses and wiping his red eyes with the sleeves of his sharp blue sport coat. “I’m very impressive darling but I’m not a mind reader.” A watery smile ghosted across Angus’ face as he took a steadying breath.

“It’s just, well,” he adjusted his fancy cap and looked sheepish. “I don’t want to be selfish.”

“Kid, you are talking to the king of selfish, spit it out.” Taako flashed Angus a goofy grin, and put his hands out palm up in a silent invitation. Angus took them. 

“That’s just it sir, you’re not selfish! You saved the world!” Taako’s eyebrows drew into a small frown and he opened his mouth to complain, but Angus powered through before he got the chance. “I just don’t see how you went on this incredible journey and still don’t see yourself the way the rest of us see you. I’m a detective, and about the only thing I’m sure of is my ability to read other people. And well, Taako, sir,” Angus’ voice grew very small and he appeared to shrink into himself. He looked up and met the older wizard’s eyes. “you’re being a little foolish right now.”

Taako stared back at the small boy and was struck by how young he looked. It was easy to forget that despite being the cleverest kid in every room, he was only ten years old. “I wish I could say I understood what you meant, kiddo, but you’ve got me kind of stuck right now.” 

Angus pulled his small hands out of Taako’s grasp, and stood up. “You say that you’re selfish but you literally saved multiple worlds. You say that your friends have other business but you don’t even notice the way they light up when you’re around or how they worry when you’re gone. And you say you’re not essential but…” Angus’ cheeks blushed a bright red and he turned around and paced for a second. He stopped and took off his glasses to wipe them with a handkerchief he procured from his breast pocket, and then returned them to his face. Taako sat patiently, his hands still folded in his lap, unable to look away from the boy detective. Angus stilled, let out a breath, and continued without fidgeting. “You think nobody needs you but you’re all I have.” The boy’s eyes filled with tears as he sat down hard in an armchair. He pulled his knees to his chest and stared at his shoes, biting the side of his cheek in an effort not to unravel. “You’re everybody’s hero now, but you were mine first. I needed you before you saved the world and I still need you now.” He let out a breath that he seemed to have been holding for a long time, his voice quiet and shaking. Angus had never been one to shy away from tears, but his efforts to keep calm betrayed his true feelings more than a tantrum ever would have.

Taako had never seen him so passionate.

He shook himself out of his stupor and moved to sit on the arm of the chair, his hand rubbing circles on Angus’ back, trying to offer whatever awkward comfort he could provide. He was burying his face in his knees now, and the small shaking of his body told Taako that he was crying. He watched the little boy weep like this for a few minutes, never taking his hand off of his shoulder. He cried silently, tragically, for a long time, and Taako felt a pit in his stomach as he wondered how many times Angus had found it necessary to practice this quiet, ferocious grief. 

While he let the boy collect himself, Taako’s thought drifted to his words that led them to this point. Was Angus right in saying that Taako was kidding himself if he thought he didn’t have anything left for him? If Kravitz was here, he likely would’ve backed up the kid’s analysis, but Kravitz wasn’t here, so Taako had to think this one out for himself. 

He thought of meeting Angus for the first time on a perilous train ride, of Angus’ trusting eyes and sense of capability that was so advanced for somebody his age. He thought of when he discovered that Angus had been drafted into serving the Bureau, just barely double digits and already a soldier in a war that so few people knew was even being fought. Taako’s mind skimmed through so many small moments; magic lessons, and late night baking, playing harmless jokes on Kravitz or just walking the moon base together, quietly sharing in each other’s company. He thought of Angus, crying after he discovered he, Magnus, and Merle were alive, and later as he watched Magnus lift the boy on his shoulders, the tiniest voice of hope proudly declaring, “We won!” 

It was like Taako had begun to love Angus without meaning to. 

He returned to the present and looked at Angus, so small and brave in a world that had not been kind to him. He seemed to have shaken off the courage that led him to confront Taako in the first place, and now he just looked embarrassed and unsure of himself. Taako removed his hand from his back, and instead put it under the boy’s chin. He pulled him out of the ball he had curled himself into, quietly but forcefully pushing past the walls Angus was building around himself. Taako didn’t have to be a genius to recognize an attempt at shutting others out. He was good at a lot of things, but pushing people away was his specialty. 

He smiled at the thought that Angus had been right. He felt known. 

“I’m sorry.” He said, at last. Angus finally caved, and looked up at him with big, red eyes. His face looked impossibly soft and young, and Taako, for the second time that evening, removed his glasses and attempted to wipe the tears off of his cheeks. “Listen, Angus,” He perked up at the utterance of his full name, and just like that Taako had won over his curiosity. “I’m afraid I’ve been a bit of a dingus, haven’t I?” Taako’s face broke into a lopsided, toothy smile despite the weight of their conversation. 

Angus smiled too, small, confused, but a smile all the same. Taako felt like he had just won a stuffed animal from a particularly tricky fantasy claw machine. “What are you saying, sir?” Angus sounded too nonchalant, like he was trying to disguise the hope in his heart.

It was Taako’s turn to feel sheepish, and he placed a hand on the back of his neck. “I am going to be very honest with you for a moment, but you can’t tell anybody. God forbid they expect me to tell the truth all the time! It’ll be our little secret.” Angus’ eyes widened, revealing the truth that a little kid is always excited to be a part of a secret pact. He nodded small and fast. “This is the first time in a long time that I’ve had so much to lose. Before the quest, and before getting my memories back, I just… drifted. I had a small, unfulfilling life but I never tried to be anything more because it’s so easy when nobody is depending on you for anything. Maybe that’s what I mean when I say I’m selfish. Love takes work, and my life now has a lot more of that than it ever has.” Angus’ eyes were completely dry now, and he listened with rapt attention. “I’ve never been good at this stuff, D’jangus, but I hope you know that I care an awful lot about you, and I’m more grateful than you can know that you’ve found a place in my life.” 

Angus’ mouth dropped open, but he quickly closed it to spare Taako’s pride. The wizard was finding it particularly difficult to meet his eyes, and his skin was itching to leave the room in pursuit of less soul-baring activities. How was Magnus so honest all the time? It felt exhausting and embarrassing and unfamiliar. He paused and looked at the little boy, and again he reached out to hold his hand. They felt so small and soft it was unbelievable, and without realizing Taako began to rub his slender thumb in small circles around the back of Angus’ hand. 

“I can’t promise you much, Angus. I can’t promise that I won’t ever go somewhere else or that I’ll become more open or trusting or some sappy shit like that. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that I’m not going to leave you. Whether that means you come with me, or I just come and visit, or we find you somewhere to go to school… regardless. You’re family now, and I’ve seen enough to know that you can’t push family away.” Taako concluded his promise with a nod, and he could tell instantly that he had said the right thing. Angus’ hands held strong onto Taako’s, and he shot forward to hold him in a tight hug. Taako relinquished, wrapping his arms around the small boy. He felt the beginnings of tears in his own eyes, but pushed them away. Angus seemed to be crying too, if the dampness of his shoulder was any indication. 

“Now, Mango, I know you’re not getting my shirt all wet, hmm?” He let his smile creep into his voice. “I have a reputation you know.” Angus pulled away and sat back down, his eyes shining, but not sad. 

“Would it be presumptuous of me to ask if you need any help unpacking sir?”

“It’s funny to me that you think I’m going to lift a hand at all. Physical labor isn’t exactly Taako’s style, if you catch my drift.” Angus let out a giddy laugh. “Well, don’t just sit! Get started! I’m going to make myself a coffee, you’re positively exhausting.” Taako gave the boy a sly wink, and slid off of the arm of the chair as Angus sprang into action, darting around the room.

As he stood in the small kitchenette, a pot of coffee brewing and a second small cup of Taako’s freshly squeezed lemonade for Angus, (none of that sugary store bought shit in HIS kitchen, certainly not.) Taako was struck with the realization that he felt very still on the inside. He could hear Angus in the other room, opening drawers and putting miscellaneous items on bookshelves, and for a moment he merely closed his eyes a listened.

A small dorm on a moon base could not be home. He was grateful that Angus had talked him off of the ledge, it was a stupid idea to just pack up and leave without warning, after all, but he knew there would be a right time to go. The coffee pot beeped and he poured the hot liquid into a mug big enough to be a bowl, and carried it and the lemonade back to the bedroom. He stopped in the doorway to see Angus cross-legged on the floor, Caleb Cleveland novel open in his lap. As he skimmed the pages his fingers lazily flicked the edge of the paper, his other hand carefully cradling the blue leather spine.

No, things could not stay the same forever. But Taako thought of Kravitz and his friends and this small, incredible, genius boy in front of him, and he was sure in a way that he had never really been, that no matter where he was, he would not be alone again.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the first draft for this in march of 2018 immediately after listening to all of the Balance arc for the first time, and I decided that it was worth it to dust it off and post it. This podcast is unironically one of the most important pieces of media I have ever encountered, and it forever changed the way I think about happiness and family. The McElroy brothers have a special place in my heart, and I am forever grateful for their genuine joy, their irreverent comedy, and for the story and characters that found a home within my heart. I truly hope that you enjoy. 
> 
> I'm on Tumblr at @smilesbag if you want to hear me scream more about fictional characters. And please, if you liked it, leave a comment! They mean more to me than you could know. Much love. <3


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